我是外国人

sweet friends in Nanjing

Warning shocker alert personal confession coming: I am not Chinese. Nope I'm not... I'm not Chinese, I'm a 外国人waigouren (literally a foreign country person). Ok, everyone breath! I know I just threw you all for a loop and I want to apologize for anyone who is deeply hurt or confused because they thought I was Chinese. The truth is I'm American, I'm a foreigner. My blonde hair, fair skin, and blue eyes clue most people into that one pretty quickly. If some how you missed the physical difference between me and my 5 million closest friends in this city, the minute I opened my mouth and speak heavily accented Chinese with tones that well just aren't that good you'd know pretty quick. The truth is no one here needs me to tell them I'm not Chinese, its very obvious. China, much unlike America in which anyone could be American, is a country where it is mostly obvious who is not from here, and well I am not. We stick out, we draw attention and we often do things a little different than others.

Now the truth is some Chinese people have never seen or interacted with a foreigner and are naturally curious, shell shocked, scared, nervous, giggly, or mouth opened. This is affected a lot by the are of China you are in, for example in Beijing literally no one bats an eye at the foreigners. In Nanjing, there were lots of foreigners around, especially where we lived, and while we attracted some attention  it was normally not a ton and not every second of the day. Sure there were pictures, small children pulling on their mom's sleeve, and the "hi, hello, giggle giggle giggle" that is to be expected when someone exciting and new walks by but is to be expected when you look drastically different than 1.4 billion people who also call this place home.

my favorite Noodle lady in Nanjing

Moving to Nanchang has been an adjustment for sure in more ways than one, its an adjustment that I'm still making and in all honesty one that is difficult and I don't always enjoy. I miss not only Memphis: my family, my friends, fellowship, my sisters, my car, the ability to communicate, and more; I now miss Nanjing: my team, my friends, my tutor, classmates, my bunny, my apartment (and the view if we are keeping things honest), and the sense of know how to function in China that flys out the window when you move to a new place. So aside from adjusting my ears to a new dialect, figuring out where the nearest grocery store is, learning how to create a lesson plan from scratch, trying to make a way to order and find things I need in a new city I don't quite know totally how to get around yet I'm also learning what its like to be foreigner in a smaller city that doesn't have a ton of foreigners and where it is obvious you don't totally fit here, aren't from here, and will never be Chinese because I am 外国人 (waiguoren), I am 美国人（meiguoren, American, literally translated beautiful country person). Before moving to China I'm not sure how many times I was ever asked 你是哪里人？"where are you from?" but I'm positive it wasn't a daily occurrence and "America" wasn't the answer to the question when it was asked.

I remember when I was little my friends and I would pretend to be famous and being photographed by the popparrazi. We would talk about how cool it would be to be famous and have people you don't know want to take your picture and go out in public and have people speak to you and look at you and tell you how beautiful you are all the time. Well I'm certainly not famous but moving to China has certainly given me more of understanding of what its like to be a circus monkey ... celebrity... err constantly on the other end of a person's cell phone camera. LIVING in a land where you are now obviously the 外国人, you are constantly noticed there's no more quick run into the store, someone not knowing if you've left, you draw more attention on the bus, sidewalk, and just about everywhere. There's no flying under the radar or going unnoticed doing just about anything.

the paparazzi... this one happens to be our
 students in Hong Kong  after camp one day
 but its a normal occurrence 

Being the foreigner in a city (or country) not use to seeing foreigners for essentially the first time makes you realize the small things you take for granted and makes you eternally grateful for those who genuinely want to be your friend, not because its cool to have foreign friends, and those who are willing to go out of their way to help you (because well you need a lot of it when you're pretty much illiterate). The life of a foreigner isn't always an easy one, living in a land where the language, culture, foods, smells, and customs are all well foreign to me is exciting, frustrating, different, and stretching. At times I feel as though I'm not a person but simply a photo prop. There are (several) days (a week) I feel more like a 3 year old than an adult when it comes to communicating and accomplishing "simple, everyday" tasks.  

Jelly and Katyna at our foreigner vs Chinese
basketball game in Nanjing while our summer team
was there

Thankfully "loving the sojourner" is something that most Chinese do well and I am thankful like incredibly thankful. They are patient as I mess up their beautiful language, 你说中文吗？"do you speak Chinese?" is a common question but when followed by my 一点 "just a little" and my vocabulary hinders what I'm trying to find, say or do. This conversation is a frequent one that is  often followed by an apology on their part for not speaking better English, ok like seriously China you're too sweet. I'm trying to learn Chinese and oh you know I live in China and am having this conversation on the street in China; and you're apologizing for not speaking better English. Seriously, when was the last time I ever apologized to a foreigner in America for not speaking their native tongue.... umm pretty sure it never happened.  Or the lady at the grocery store who sees me grab a box of oreos (confession and China oreos are better the American ones I swear... vanilla with strawberry filling yes just yes) and chases me down handing me another as she explains in Chinese something I don't understand. She then pulls me to the actual oreo aisle where there is some sort of sign of 2 for a certain price. I can't quite figure it out but she's persistent I need the second box and I'm pretty sure they are saying their on sell at this point as I graciously take both boxes. Yeah, they're on sell... buy one get one for 2 kuai (or something of the like I'm still not totally sure what the deal was) but thank you kind lady for letting me on to the secret sale on Oreos.

James (my student who got me a new computer chord) and  Mark

Or my student James, who graciously offered to order me a new conversion cord to show power points in class when mine broke during class Tuesday, literally saving me a ton of time and energy. Or my students who take me to lunch  or help order food, the lady who trys to explain the grocery coupons so I can save money, the drink stand guy who teaches me to say my favorite drink and remembers to leave out the aloe I dislike, or my sweet tutor who took off work to help me move, and well I could keep going the list is massive. So thank you China for loving me and others well,  and sorry that I tend to forget how genuinely good you are at doing that most days. I'm still adjusting to life as a foreigner and I guarantee I'm not the perfect one to watch, in fact most days I wish that whole watching thing didn't happen; but I'm learning what that means and I'll try to keep smiling when I see the cell phone cameras come out and try to not notice.

everybody's got a water buffalo...

Everybody's got a water buffalo. Yours is fast and mine is slow. Oh where we get them I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo.

Ok, ok so maybe I don't actually have a water buffalo but... 

 

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Life in China may not always make a lot of sense and may seem a little random some days but it sure is mesmerizing and beautiful. And because sometime pictures really are worth a thousand words.

Hope you enjoy a few pictures from my afternoon on the river and seeing the traditional side of China and the modern economic boom collide.

 You see an interesting mix of 2 worlds colliding often in China and well if you aren't at least a little confused odds are you aren't paying attention. 













Cranes, skyscrapers, water buffalos, fishermen, house boats, and families enjoying the afternoon all make up the modern makeup of the River bank settled nicely in the financial district of Nanchang.

The Ferris Wheel is the iconic back drop of the city at one point it used to be (or maybe still is depending on who you ask) the World's Largest. The Star of Nanchang because well every city needs its claim to fame.

And because sometimes pictures are really just a beautiful thing. 

I AM THE TEACHER

Lecrae lyrics start blaring through my phone around 6:30 in the morning. I turn over and look at the phone and hit the snooze button. 9 minutes later my phone starts singing again as I reach to turn it off and put my feet on the floor of the 3rd story room I recently call home. I am not a morning person, I think to myself as I make my way to brush my teeth and get ready for my first day of school. This the first day of school is something that I've done many times around 23 times in my school career but this one is unique. For the first time my role had changed. For the first 22 times I had done a first day of schools a student, a role I'm pretty comfortable playing. But this time I am the teacher. I AM THE TEACHER. Sometime between the teeth brushing, grabbing a cardigan, and straightening my hair I think that hit me. I AM THE TEACHER. Double check my handy teacher bag: lesson plan ✓ laptop ✓ my Book ✓ water bottle✓ raise the roof for my students, myself, and my team ✓ . Mr. Li has arrived and honks the horn to take us to school. Breath and head out the door.

We arrive at school and there is a flood of Chinese students making their way to class. Our team talks in the van about our general excitement, nerves, and emotions. Breath, I AM THE TEACHER, breath, maintain communication with Him, tell myself again I AM THE TEACHER. Walk into the office, put my bag down, read over my lesson plan again, and walk out the office door.  

I put one foot into the door of the classroom, smile and breath I think to myself, as I look up I'm greeted by beautiful Chinese faces. My students, or at least the first group of them, the ones I'm anxious to know and teach and learn from. I put my lesson plan on the desk and am greeted by the class monitor. She introduces herself to me and hands me an attendance book. SCORE!!! This is huge I think to myself, this is not a given in a Chinese classroom and I'm super thankful to be given such a great resource so early in the semester. (I know, I know my friends who have never taught in China may think this is no biggie but here its never a given.) I make sure to receive the book with two hands and quickly open it, and realize I've hit the goldmine of a TEFL classroom. I have an attendance sheet on the first day of class with ENGLISH NAMES in it!!! 

I begin to take roll because well I AM THE TEACHER and thats what teacher's do. I make my way through my lesson plan, I introduce myself, learn about my students, introduce the course, and get them talking in English. Now don't misunderstand me here it was a first day lesson plan of a new teacher it had some pauses (thankfully no major ones) and I'm pretty confident that none of my students left that class speaking flawless English.

I am not perfect and I do not have any awesome gift of implanting a difficult language into brains effortless but I AM THE TEACHER and sometime during that first 2 hour class I was met with the reality of what a privilege that is. I am not a teacher because I posses a lot of great teaching skill, knowledge, or even because I happened to be born in a country that speaks English. I AM THEIR TEACHER because this is where I have been called, to teach an incredibly difficult language that I happen to call my native tongue to students who upon entering college may have never met a foreigner or only had English classes taught  mostly in Chinese. To use the gift, that I rarely see as a gift, to be able to live in another country and experience more of the Father's beautiful creation and get to know those who are also made in His image. My students aren't actually mine, I only see them for 2-4 hours a week, they don't look like me, and the chances that we would even ever meet were slim without some serious intervention, they have unique personalities and interest and I get the privilege of helping them learn English while getting to know them for the unique, beautifully created, loved individual they are. I AM THEIR TEACHER but I am also still learning.

  

Transition, Transition, Transit....ion

Have you ever seen "Fiddler on the Roof?" Ok so you know his song Tradition... You know Tradition, Tradition, Traditioooon. Well that song has been stuck in my head the last few weeks except instead of singing Tradition; I'm singing Transition. Transition, Transition, Transition because well thats a lot of what my life has looked like the last few months.

ILP closing dinner

my sweet tutor and friend Gloria (middle) and friend Li Jun at Korean Hot Pot the day before I left Nanjing

Somewhere between packing in Nanjing, working this summer in Hong Kong, making a quick trip to the States (Colorado) for training, sleeping in my (wonderful fluffy) bed for 4 days in Memphis, another 36 hour airport adventure between Memphis and Beijing, another class in Beijing, and making a final landing in Nanchang I've said good bye to teammates, classmates, and friends; made new friends and invested in a new team, said goodbye again, made new friends, met my new teammates, said see you soon to new friends, saw family and long time friends and said good bye again, reconnected with new friends and meet the rest of my new team, said see you in Feb to new friends, and landed somewhere in the East side of a river to live life.

my awesome Engage team #QESOSASS

ice-cream with some students after school one day

Hong Kong 

got to be in Memphis for my Little Laura's wedding... seriously only the Father could have planned that one

love these sweet Memphis ladies 

Having landed in Nanchang looking forward to teaching, new students and friends, and settling into a new place and team life despite the smog (both figurative and literally: oh how you have to love China). That being said have I loved every moment of it no not really, honestly it's been a rough few weeks. Living out of a suitcase, saying goodbyes, and constantly in the state of go is pretty draining and to say I'm looking forward to a sense of routine and to settle would be an understatement. Learning how to navigate a new city, where to find food, where to get things, and trying to make sense of some Nanchang hua (its Mandarin but a regional dialect and oh its so different to my foreign ears), and changing roles from a language student to a language teacher are at times challenging but challenges I enjoy figuring out and gaining some independence as to not feel like a 3 year old. So stay tuned for some crazy adventure stories in the Chang, hopefully I have a goal to blog pretty much weekly this semester so we shall see how it goes. I want to keep you all updated, but I'm not naturally a writer so y'all please keep accountable to it.

part of my new team on the Great Wall

funny faces in CO training